


Hidden

by BROKENBOY



Category: Ackley Bridge (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Bisexual Male Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Coming Out, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, High School, Lesbian Character, Lies, M/M, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Pain, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-22 02:12:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15571434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BROKENBOY/pseuds/BROKENBOY
Summary: Naveed's feelings for his best mate Cory are growing stronger and everything in his life is crashing down around him. How is he going to manage to keep all of his secrets? And how will he cope when he's told some troubling news?





	1. You're seriously funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naveed supports Nas when she needs him after she does something she regrets. Cory and Riz encourage Naveed to pursue comedy.

I wake up to several texts from Nas. 

 **_Disaster Lesbian:_ ** _I lost my virginity last night. 07:05_  

 _Oh god Naveed, it was a huge mistake! 07:06_  

 _How_ _can I be with someone like her? It would never work. 07:13_  

I sit up and immediately reply. 

 **_Nav:_ ** _Okay, okay calm down it’s only just gone 7am. Meet me before school and you can tell me about it. 07:15_  

I put my phone down on my duvet and clamber out of bed. Taking my creased shirt from the back of my desk chair and slipping it on, looking in my mirror at my chest. I look like I’ve lost weight, I’m probably seeing things. It is early in the morning. I finish getting dressed and head downstairs, pouring myself some cornflakes and sitting down with my mum. 

“You’re ready quick today,” 

“Yeah, I have to go and meet Nasreen before school,” 

“Okay, just make sure you’re not late,” 

I quickly brush my teeth and fix my hair, so I don’t have complete bedhead, before grabbing my bag and heading out. My phone suddenly begins to ring in my pocket, it’s Nas. 

“Alright I’m coming, I’m coming.” I assure her as I run down the street, heading to the café down the road from school. 

“Right, well hurry up!” She says before hanging up. 

=============================

I get to the café and Nas is sat inside with a coffee in hand looking out of the window. She notices me and heads outside. 

She just hugs me and I realise then that she’s not okay. “Nav, I like her, but I can’t be with her,” She mumbles into my coat. 

“You like Sam don’t ya? I see why you don’t think you can be with her,” I say, quietly enough that only she can hear me.  

“When I was with her, it felt right. It felt like I was with the right girl. In that moment she was everything I wanted. But when I saw her at that anti-Muslim march, my heart dropped.” 

“You could talk to her?” I suggest, hoping I can help somehow and not be entirely useless. 

“I already did, we went up the hill by the rec and I told her it could never work. And then I left her there.” 

“Ouch. Well, at least now you can move on. I could sign you up to a dating site again? Although, we both know how well that turned out last time.” I joke, prodding her arm. She smiles, I think I’ve cheered her up a little. 

“Oh god, don’t even remind me. Come on, we’re gonna be late.” 

=============================

“Oi, Naveed!” I hear coming from behind me as we walk through the doors of school. I turn around and there he is, Cory Wilson. My best mate, other than Nas of course. And of course, this muppet right here only went and got feelings for him.  

“I knocked on for ya but your mum said you’d already left, ya coulda texted me” He says, smiling in that way that makes my stomach do silly flippy shit. 

“Yeah, sorry mate, Nas needed me.” I explain apologetically. 

“S’alright, I’ll let ya off,” There he is with that fucking smile again. 

We head to science and Mr Hyatt has given us practical work to do, mixing chemicals together and stuff. I wasn’t really listening. I think I must’ve been in me own head a bit because I wasn’t paying attention and I snapped back to reality (not an Eminem reference) when Cory came out with “Nav, Nav! Earth to Naveed Haider!” in a quiet whisper. 

“Yeah,” I don’t know how else to respond, like my brain is actually like scrambled eggs. 

“D’ya wanna work wi’ me on the practical?” Is he really asking me that question? When we work together in science almost every time we have partner work? 

“Mate, we always work together you muppet,” I point out, punching his arm lightly, he winces a bit. I don’t think he knows I saw. 

“Ey, that’s my insult that!” He says, punching me back. 

“What did you copyright it?” 

“Cory, Naveed, quiet down please and get on with your work.” Mr Hyatt interrupts. 

“Oh yeah, sorry sir” Cory replies, shooting me a grin and getting up to grab our equipment. 

The lesson goes quickly and before I know it, the bell rings and it’s off to my next class. One without Cory. In fact, I won’t see him now until lunch because he has double PE. 

=============================

The lessons following science go extremely slow, it feels like every second is an hour long and every minute like a day. But eventually the bell rings and I head to the locker room to meet Cory and Riz. I wait outside for them because last time I went in there I nearly messed up my friendship with Cory and I can’t risk that again. After a few minutes, Riz walks out and Cory follows behind him. “Ey, Nav!” Riz greets me and Cory adds “Anything interesting happened in your lessons?” I wish something interesting happened in my lessons, but all I got was Alya complaining to her bitch squad and that’s nothing new. “Nope, I spend most of the time making up new material in my head. I doubt I’ll be able to test it out though. My dad wants me to go to uni and do something academic,” I wish my dad would just see that I’m not interested in science or maths, I like to make people like. I especially like to make Cory laugh.  

“You should test it out on us, your dad can’t stop you doing that can he?” Cory suggests. That would be great but what if they didn’t laugh? Or it was just pity laughs? I don’t need that. 

“I guess I could?” I ignore my thoughts and we head outside to sit on our bench. 

“Get on with it then,” 

“Okay so.. um yesterday,” I hesitate but continue. “our English teacher asked us what comes after a sentence and this one kid puts his hand up and said ‘The appeal’,” 

Cory and Riz laugh before nodding in unison to encourage me to carry on. 

“And then the bell went off, but it wasn’t the bell was it? It were his tag!” I feel more confident now, with Cory and Riz egging me on it makes me feel good. This is what I love, I just wish my dad could see it that way. 

I keep going, telling them more of my stuff. They’re fucking pissing themselves at this point. I think I can really do this. 

“You’re seriously funny, you,” Cory says, putting his arm around my shoulder. 

“You think?” 

“We know!” Riz chimes in. 

“Well, there’s this comedy night on at the community centre tomorrow and I was thinking of going and trying out my stuff.” I tell them, hoping they might come. 

“You should definitely go for it! I can’t come see you though, my dad is making me stay home for some family night or something.” I feel a bit disappointed that Riz can’t come, but then I look to Cory. 

“I’ll be there mate, try and stop me.” I smile, and we walk into the main yard, where we see a crowd forming and we go to see what’s happening. Hayley and Alya are arguing because Hayley used makeup or fake tan or something to make her skin look darker to make the point that brown is beautiful. I suppose the good intentions are there but she can be a bit stupid can’t she? Miss Keane and the new deputy head, I dunno his name, come out to break it up and we all head back inside. I can’t wait for tomorrow night, I have the chance to test the waters with a bigger crowd than just Riz and Cory. I’m glad Cory’s coming though, more than glad. Ecstatic! I know he’s got a rough home life so it might just be an excuse to get out of the house for an hour or two but either way, having him there is amazing. 

 


	2. Bubbles and Cornflakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naveed goes to Cory's aid in his time of need and things take an unexpected turn. Naveed lies to his parents again.  
> Song for this chapter: Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

It’s been a week since my dad turned up to comedy night and I’ve got the message loud and clear that I’m not to go back. I know Mr. Simpson meant well but I love to make people laugh more than anything and now I can’t even do that. I haven’t heard from Cory over the weekend which is unusual as he often tries to get me to meet him, so he can get out of his house and away from his dad. He acts like he can handle it, but he can’t, and I want to help him. I just don’t know how. 

*New Text* 

 **_Cory_ ** **_Wilson_ ** **_:_ ** _Naveed, I need you. It’s urgent. Meet me at the rec._  

I’ve never received a text like that from Cory. It’s usually full over laughing face emojis and taking the piss but now it’s serious. He said he  _needs_  me. 

I don’t waste a single second, I grab my shoes and £20 and head out the door before my mum could even notice. I’m not supposed to be leaving the house this weekend, my dad said that I should “stay home and spend quality time with the family” I spend every day with them. I can’t let Cory down when he needs me. What sort of friend would that make me? I jump on my bike, figuring that would be faster than running, and pedal as fast as I can to get to the rec. I go past Nas and Missy who shout after me. “Naveed!” They call in unison. “Can’t stop, sorry!” I reply, speeding off. 

I eventually arrive to the rec, Cory looks a right mess. “Cory,” I say, softly, sitting next to him. His eyes have dark circles around them, he looks exhausted. He quickly wipes his eyes dry. “You know who you’re sat next to right? You don’t have to hide that stuff from me.” I assure him. He just sits there, looking down at his feet. I pull him into a hug and he wraps his arms around me like he’s never been hugged before. “Jordan isn’t at home, I don’t know where he is. Dad’s given up, he just sits watching Jeremy Kyle getting hammered while our fridge is near empty. I can’t say or do anything, or I’ll get a right kick in.” He confides, not able to look me in the eye. He’s so ashamed that he can’t eat properly. “Right, well I know it’s not enough for a fridge full but it should be enough to get you something decent.” I say, handing him the twenty-pound note. He looks at me like he’s just won the lottery. I like seeing that look in his eye, it's not often anyone sees him like this. And then, out of nowhere, his lips latch onto mine and suddenly we’re kissing. After a second, I pull back. “Cory, I didn’t give you money expecting you to kiss me,” I tell him. “I gave it you because you need to eat. And I care about you.” He just smiles at me and says “Yeah, I just thought that you’d like it.” And he was right, I did. But I don’t want to take advantage of him. He doesn’t feel the same, he only kissed me because I gave him money. That’s almost prostituting himself. It’s not real. 

We go to the shop together and I help him pick out some decent food. You can tell he doesn’t eat much other than ready meals and crisps because that’s all he seems to pick up. “Mate, you can’t live off of this!” I shake my head. “You told me on the way here that your dad has gone off on a bender or something? Well, if he’s not home, let me cook you tea.” I offer, as we walk down the aisle. “Are you sure? What about your parents?” He asks, he knows what my dad’s like. “Leave them to me, mate. You like chicken curry, right?” He nods in response. “Good, and we can get some chips from the chippy to go with it.” I’m not just doing this because it’s Cory, but he has supported me with my comedy stuff, so I want to support him now. I owe him that. 

I text my mum and tell her I’m staying over at Nas’ to finish a science project after calling Nas to make sure she can back me up if my mum gets in touch. 

*New Text* 

 ** _Mum:_**   _At least you’re not with that Cory, he’s not someone you want to associate with Naveed. Be good for Mrs._ _Paracha_ _. I liked you and Nasreen together, you should ask her if you can give it another go :)_

 

She’s so clueless. And I’d like to keep it that way. But I wish she wouldn’t speak that way about Cory, just because he supports me with my choice pursue comedy. 

=============================

We arrive back at Cory’s and I head to the kitchen, while Cory checks around to make sure his dad isn’t here. He walks in the kitchen with a face like thunder. “Nav, I had a couple of quid on the counter. Dad’s nicked it! I was gonna use that for some cornflakes for breakfast tomorrow! He fucks everything up for us and he doesn’t give a shit!” I pull him in for a hug. “It’s okay, mate it‘s gonna be okay. I’ll buy some. I have a few quid left over from the shopping we bought.” I wish I could look out for him all the time. “And before you say it, I know I don’t have to. I want to. A good mate supports his mate when he needs it. That’s all. Now piss off, let me sort your tea out.” I assure him with a smile and gesture him to go and watch telly. I’ve made chicken curry with my mum a hundred times, I like to do it my own way though. I think my parents would approve of me changing family recipes or cooking for Cory Wilson for that matter but what they don’t know won’t hurt them. I add different spices and herbs for flavour and make sure there’s a decent amount of vegetables, considering Cory doesn’t eat enough of them. I hope he likes it, I’m not sure he’ll be complaining though. It’s food init. 

I finish up after about an hour and take the curry, rice and chips through to him with a glass of water. “There ya go mate, tuck in. Got ya a knife and fork too,” I say with a laugh following. He doesn’t hesitate at all. “Woah, Nav! This is proper food this! It’s amazing, I mean it!” He says with his mouth full. I tuck into mine and it seems I’ve improved my nana’s recipe, best not try telling my family that though. We both finish up and I take the plates into the kitchen to wash up. It’s a bit of a mess, with dirty plates and cups piled up but I get on with it straight off. Cory comes in and I smile and tell him to go sit down. “Mate, you’ve done enough. Let me help.” He doesn’t even let me respond before he’s grabbing a tea towel and drying the plates I’ve already cleaned. We start joking around and I flick bubbles at him. “Oi!” He shouts, flicking some back in my direction. We’re soon laughing our heads off but as it goes silent and we’re closer than I realised, without warning, Cory grabs my shirt and pulls me into the second kiss of the day. I kiss back, and I notice he’s not pulling back this time. But I do, and he looks at me confused. “Stop. If you like me, tell me. Don’t fuck with me. What is this? Some game to you? You know I like you, so you lead me on and then you can have a laugh about it with your mates at school? Is that what this is?!” I can’t even look at him. I can’t bear it. He goes quiet, but not for long enough for me to pretend it didn’t happen. Not that I could anyway. “Hey, look at me! I’m not fucking with you, it’s not a game. And I’m definitely not laughing at you. Ever since the kiss in the locker room, you’ve been in my fucking head. All the time. I’ve never felt like this before, and I don’t want to. But I do, and I can’t help that. I guess... I guess I like you alright?!” He what? He must be joking. I’m waiting for that grin and for him to say he’s only messing, but it never comes. “You mean that?” I ask, trying to figure out what’s happening right now. “Of course, you muppet!” He grins and I go in for another kiss. It just feels like what’s supposed to happen. 

Kevin hasn’t come back. So now that we have eventually finished washing up after our impromptu making out sesh, we go upstairs. We kiss some more in Cory’s room and try to get some sleep, I sleep on the floor incase Kevin comes back. I can’t risk getting him hurt because I want to sleep next to him. Even though that’s all I wanna do right now. 

=============================

We wake up to the sound of Kevin stumbling in through the front door and we figure he would probably kick off if he saw me anyway, so I quickly kiss Cory before climbing out of his bedroom window and somehow getting down the drainpipe with minimal issues which is surprising considering I’ve never done it before. I head down the road and spray some deodorant to mask the smell of curry. 

*New Text* 

 ** _C:_**   _Meet at the rec at 8?_  

 ** N:  ** _ Try stop me. _

 I nip into the shop and buy Cory’s cornflakes and shove them in my backpack. I wait at the rec like planned and he comes almost running around the corner. “Hey, I’ve got something for you,” I say, intriguing him as I reach into my bag. His eyes almost light up when I hand him the family size box of Cornflakes. “My cornflakes! You remembered!” He beams, quickly checks to see if anyone’s around, and quickly gives me a kiss to thank me. We’ve decided to keep things to ourselves, we don’t want to tell anyone right now. It’s best for both of us. Neither of us are safe to come out with my parents being desperate for me to get with my lesbian best friend and with Kevin being as violent as he is. Who knows how he’ll react? Last night was good though, the best. I still can’t believe that my best mate, “walking STD”, ladies' man Cory Wilson likes me. 

The school day is pretty average so far, I spend it with Missy and Nas who never stop questioning me about why I sped off so fast yesterday. I manage to change the subject to Missy and Aaron which seems to work for now. I look across the canteen and see Alya eyeing up Cory, he doesn’t see but I do and I know it’s him she’s looking at. I’m not jealous, I just know that she’s turned him down before and, with us wanting to keep things lowkey for the time being, he might humour her. The last two lessons drag on longer than ever and when they are over I look outside to see my mum at the gate. She knows that comedy night is tonight and so I guess this is her way of making sure I don’t go. I get in her car and she drives me home. I know she doesn’t trust me anymore. I wish they would get off my back. I can’t live my life as their puppet, I don’t want them to decide my life for me. Who I’m supposed to love, what my career is, where I live. Those things should be mine, and only mine. 


	3. Weak Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naveed's talent is shared with his peers online. Cory gets humiliated and hurt again. Naveed is desperate to help him.  
> Song for this chapter: Fake Happy - Paramore

I come home from school and go upstairs to my room where I find multiple university prospectuses, all of which are from very prestigious unis and open on the variety of science courses. I know what they’re doing, and it’s not going to work. I don’t want to do science, I want to do performing arts in Liverpool. I told Mr. Simpson that, and I bet he told my dad. That’ll be why my bed is covered in my parent’s attempts to change my mind. I clear the bed and put the prospectuses on my desk in a neat-ish pile. I lie down on my bed, feeling much more tired than usual, and inevitably fall asleep.

Waking up is the last thing I want after that dream. I dreamt about Cory. We skived school together at his place and it was amazing. I don’t think that will ever happen though. Not with my parents on my back and the amount of shit that’s already happening with his. I check my phone to see that it’s 6:32 pm. Great, no chance of me getting any sleep tonight then. I have a text from Riz, two from Nas and three from Cory.

**_Riz:_ ** _Mate, everyone’s talking about you on Twitter. You should look! 6:01 PM_

Um... Okay... Wait, no. No. Surely, he hasn’t. He wouldn’t do that. He can’t have outed me. FUCK!!!

I quickly open the Twitter app and see floods of tweets, but none of them have “gay”, “fag” or “homo” in there so I think I’m safe. Thank fuck. I can finally breathe again, well sort of. They’re all about my jokes, but the only people who have heard them are Cory, Riz, Mr. Simpson and Miss. Keane. There are tweets here from Alya, Chloe, Missy and that’s just a few examples.

 ** _Disaster Lesbian_** ** _:_**   _Oh my god! Naveed! I saw the video! 6:08 PM_

_You’re so good! 6:09 PM_

**_C:_ ** _I know your parents said you can’t do comedy_ _anymore,_ _but I filmed your stuff from comedy night. I thought that if they’re trying to stop you doing comedy, I could show the world how funny you are to show you how much people like your stuff. That_ _it might help. 6:14 PM_

_Nav, say_ _somethin_ _will_ _ya_ _6:16 PM_

_Naveed! Look man, I’m sorry if I upset_ _ya_ _or_ _somethin_ _I just wanted to help. 6:21 PM_

Cory posted the video. He did that. For me. I didn’t know he cared so much. If my parents see it, they won’t be happy but it’s what I love. They will see that. They will understand.

I reply to Cory with a wide smile plastered over my face.

**_N:_ ** _I’m not upset, I was asleep. Thanks man, you didn’t have to do that._ _6:36_

My mum calls me down for dinner and I put my phone down only to hear it buzz just as I leave the room, I hurry back in and it’s Cory.

**_C:_ ** _I wanted to._ _6:38 PM_

I leave my phone upstairs and go to join my parents. I take my seat at the table, I must be smiling more than I realised because my mum has now noticed.

“I assume that you’re smiling because you’ve found a good university, yes?” She asks, hopeful.

“Um... something like that.” I lie.

She just nods in response, and we tuck in. I zone out as my parents talk to each other and start to think about playing a bigger stage than just the community centre, like an arena. They snap me back to reality when they start asking me about Nasreen and the future. I try to focus on the food on my plate but I’m not really hungry.

“Did you ask Nasreen to try again?” My mum prods.

“Which university did you like best? I think the courses at London Metropolitan University and St Georges look the best, but I’d like to look at courses with you,” Dad pushes.

I feel a lump in my throat. “I’m sorry, I can’t eat any more. I don’t feel so good.” I say before running upstairs to my room. As soon as I get in there, I shut the door behind me. I feel like I can barely breathe. I manage to turn off my light and get into bed, I look at my phone and see that I don’t have any texts or notifications. I look back through my texts with Cory, when he sent me that picture of him and Riz when I was off sick. And when he tried to convince me that rugby was interesting. I don’t know why he does what he does. But I’m not complaining.

=============================

I wake up drenched in my own sweat. It isn’t even hot in my room. I’m not even going to question it. I drag myself out of bed and get dressed before going to school. I don’t bother with breakfast, I’m not hungry. I walk down my street and then down the long stretch of road to Nas’. I knock on her door and she opens up, looking how I feel. “Wow, someone didn’t get any sleep.” I assume, as I lean against the wall outside her house. She groans and gestures me in as she fixes her hair and puts her shoes on. The walk to school is fairly quiet. I eventually break the silence. “So, how come you pulled an all-nighter?” I ask. She shrugs, and I give her a look as if to say, ‘come on Nas!’. “I was doing coursework and talking to Sam. She tried to apologise and I just shut her down. I don’t know how I feel, and I don’t want to keep thinking about her.” She admits, clearly troubled. “She’s all in your head I’m guessing?” I shoot her a supportive look and she nods. “I know that feeling. You can either act on it or wait until it goes away, but the latter may take longer, and you might even regret it later.” Nothing else is said after that but I know what she’s thinking. ‘But Sam’s a racist!’ And I know she is, I don’t like her and I think Nas deserves a girl that treats her properly, but I can’t tell Nas how to feel. Just like she can’t choose not to feel that way. The rest of the short journey to school isn’t uncomfortable silence, but appropriate silence. She knows I’m here, and that I will support her when she needs it.

I head to the Sixth Form Hub and Riz walks in with Alya. We go and welcome him back. Cory joins us and starts talking about his latest conquest, which I won’t say doesn’t hurt because it does but I think I understand why, before making a comment at Alya, nothing mean or anything. Just a typical Cory comment. But knowing Alya she’ll take offence to it. I assume Nas is somewhere with Missy or preparing for the debate. The bell rings and we all head to the science block. The lesson is average, with the occasional gossip between the girls and banter with the lads, it’s nothing special. I keep zoning out. I don’t know why. 

We sit in the hall and watch the debate, Cory is at the back and I’m near the front behind Riz and Shannon. Alya’s friend gets up to speak just after Nas and you can tell she’s nervous. She struggles with her words and drops her notes but rather than letting her try again, Alya is straight in there. She fucks her mate over just to look good in the debate. Her friend sits down and Nas comforts her. Riz pulls out his phone and Shannon follows, they’ve both been sent a picture of Cory at a foodbank with the caption ‘Cory Wilson is a food bank skank!’. It’s a forwarded message that Alya sent to one of her pals. In a matter of minutes, everyone has seen it. Except Cory it seems. We head to the canteen and grab a table, Cory finds us and walks over. That amazing smile spread across his face. The Cory Wilson smile, not the smile I sometimes see but the one that everyone in Ackley Bridge has seen. Riz shows him the picture and his smile is gone in an instant. Alya walks in beaming, holding her award with pride. She realises when she tries to talk to Riz that everyone has seen what she said. “Leave it,” Cory says to Riz as he walks around to stand face to face with Alya. He stands up for himself and calls her a spoiled little brat before leaving the canteen.

Cory’s sat with me and Riz on the bench after a year 7 kicked him where no man ever wants to be kicked. I know Riz didn’t know it was this bad but I should’ve, after the weekend. I should’ve been there for him. He shouldn’t have to go to a food bank. Cory suddenly gets up and walks away, I want to go after him and everything inside me is telling me to but I figure I should stay. I don’t want to pester him.

=============================

I get home and all I can think about is Cory. I wish I could take his pain away. My phone buzzes and it’s a text from Riz.

**_Riz:_ ** _Cory’s dad just tried to kill himself. 3:48 PM_

Oh my god. I’ve got to see Cory, tonight. I have to be there for ‘im.

I quickly type out a text.

**_N:_ ** _Riz told me about your dad. I can come_ _round_ _if you want? I have your back._

After a few minutes of pacing around my room not knowing what I’m going to say to him when I do see him, I get a reply.

**_C:_ ** _I’d like that._

**_N:_ ** _I’ll make an excuse to get out of here._

I grab some food out of the cupboards when my mum and dad aren’t looking. It’s not much but it might help Cory and that’s all I care about right now. I stuff the food into my bag and tell my mum that Nas wants to talk about getting back together and she instantly wishes me luck as she almost pushes me out of the door. I walk to Cory’s house, and by the time I get there I’m breathless. Maybe it’s the hill. Or I’m just unfit. I knock on his door and he opens it slowly, he peaks out from behind the door like a scared child. He just looks so broken, frail. I pull him into a hug and hold him close for a minute. He gestures for me to follow him into the living room and pats the space next to him on the sofa, encouraging me to sit with him. I give him the food and he looks at me with appreciation and a weak smile. We sit and talk for hours, and for some of it we just sit in silence or drown out the thoughts in our heads with The Inbetweeners. By the end of the night, his smile is a little less weak and he seems in a much better place than before. I smile at him as I get ready to leave. “I should probably go now.” I say, wishing I could stay. He nods, and I turn around to head for the door. He comes behind me and grabs my arm, pulling me back. I look at him in confusion. “Thanks, for the food and that, but also for staying. I appreciate it.” I simply nod in return as he did before and I leave his house. I look back as I get to the end of the path and he’s still there, watching me go with a smile on his face. The smile I only see sometimes. Not the Cory Wilson smile. The genuine Cory smile. I grin as I walk down the street and back down the hill. Back home.


	4. Pantos in Halifax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naveed and Cory find a place to get away from everything. Naveed goes to the doctors after being encouraged by Cory.  
> Song for this chapter: Lost Boy - Ruth B.  
> Thank you to Maddi, Inka and Becca for giving me a few of the ideas used in this chapter.

My head is banging this morning. Last night was the gig Cor booked for me. It was amazing, I finally felt confident in speaking my truth and that’s thanks to Cory. It’s been a really fucking eventful week and now I just want to stay here. In bed. By myself. But this fucking headache is killing me. I groggily feel around me to find my phone and it buzzes underneath me. It’s a text from Cory.

 _ **C:** You smashed it last night, mate. I hope ya know that. _ Sorry _I missed the beginning, but hey, maybe I can be your manager eh? I bet that BGT scout_ were _impressed 11:20 AM_

 _ **N:** Yeah, he spoke to me after youse left the dressing room. He wants me to audition. Maybe you should be my manager lmao. _ No _but in all seriousness mate, I can’t thank you enough_

_**C:** Meet on the hill in a bit? Need to get out of this shithole for a bit._

_**N:** I’ll be there at 1._

_**C:** Sound._

This headache better fuck right off by the time I see Cor. I drag myself out of bed and walk towards my mirror in an almost zombie-like way. I mean I already look like one. Wow I look rough. I go to jump in the shower and I nearly faint, I splash some water on my face in the hopes that I’ll get my shit together and I step into the shower. As I’m washing myself, my hand brushes over a lump near my armpit. It’s weird, I haven’t noticed a lump there before really. I mean I don’t think I have. It’s probably nothing. I jump out the shower and throw on the first clothes in sight and some random trainers as I dry my hair.

By the time I get to the hill, Cory’s already there. He stands up and smiles as I approach him. “Funny man!” He jokes and I push him in response as if to say “Shut up, ya knobhead”. We just walk for a bit, talking about anything from rugby (he never stops, I’m surprised he still has stuff to say about it to be honest) to theatre shows we want to see (I knew he was a secret theatre geek). “Me mum used to take me and Jord to the Victoria Theatre in Halifax to see the pantos at Christmas. But since she left, me dad hasn’t bothered and Jord’s uninterested nowadays.” He says, with that weak smile he has when he thinks of stuff that hurts him but doesn’t want me to know he’s hurting. I see right through that weak smile Mr. Wilson. “Well maybe we could go together when it rolls around this year?” I suggest, wrapping my arm around him. He stops walking and turns to face me. “Nav, man, that would be great! Pretty sure it’s Peter Pan this year, me favourite!” He beams before turning away and carrying on walking. “Hey, tell ya what ice skater boy. I’ll race ya to the woods.” He shouts as he start to run in the direction of the local woods. “Oh bring it on, bellend!”

And as I start to catch up with him, we come to find a small river. “I win, ice skating’s doing ya no favours now Nav,” He grins smugly. I punch his arm lightly and reply “At least I didn’t end up with a broken neck, I’d consider that a win.” I chuckle. “Oi, I didn’t mean to break his neck! I’m never gonna live that down, am I?” I just shook my head. As we joke and walk beside each other, I speed up my pace and I end up in front of Cory and start to walk beside the river. He follows behind me. Something magical catches my eye as we get further into the woods, it’s a large rock ledge placed perfectly over the river. Safe and sturdy enough that you wouldn’t fall off and flat enough that it isn’t uncomfortable. A glorious place to escape to. Now, our place. I step across stones, my trainers slightly dipping into the mellow waters under them, and I climb up onto the ledge. People could find us if they knew we were here but the only people that might know we’re here are the odd dog walker and they’re only here in the mid-mornings and early evenings so we’re good. “It’s nice ‘ere init?” Cory finally says, breaking the silence. “It is.” Is all I say in response. Nothing more needs to be said, we both know that. I turn my head and see him glancing down at my trainers. “What you looking at?” I ask, noticing the same wide grin from earlier. “You wearing odd socks, Haider, pastel ones ‘nd all. You’re a right soft lad you are.” He said, as he rested his head on my shoulder. He falls asleep there for a few minutes, like he hasn’t got a care in the world. But he wakes up shortly afterwards. “Shit.. Did I fall asleep or somethin’?” He asks, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “Yeah, didn’t want to wake ya or owt.” I say smiling at him. He looks at me and his face changes “Shit, Nav, your nose is bleedin,” He informs me, his hand disappearing up his sleeve as he grabs it from the inside and wipes the blood from my nose. “I get them sometimes, Cor, I’m not surprised. I get headaches and nosebleeds out of the blue, bit weird but I’m used to it,” I explain. “Shit, Cor, your jacket! It’ll stain!” He ignores me and smiles in a way that says “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

We realise we’ve been sat on this ledge for 3 hours and we get up, moving down towards the stepping stones. I begin to feel lightheaded and dizzy, my vision blurring. I try to walk on the first stepping stone and misplace my footing which results in me embarrassingly slipping. “Nav! Are you okay man?” Cory asked, half concerned and half confused. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I’m not but he doesn’t need to know that. I try my best to focus but inevitably I slip backwards, falling into Cory who luckily had his balance and stopped any damage being done. “You’re not fine. What’s happening?” He’s definitely concerned now. “My eyes have just gone a bit blurry and I feel lightheaded, I’ll be okay!” I insist. Next thing I know, Cor has picked me up and is carrying me across the stones to the other side of the river. “I’m not a cripple, Cor!” I exclaim. He puts me down at the side of the river on the dirt path. He sits next to me and pulls a bottle of water from his backpack, unscrews the lid, takes my hand and wraps it around the bottle. I manage to take a sip and it helps a bit. “Book a doctors appointment mate, you probably don’t have anything serious or owt it’s just best to check yaknow? I’ll come with ya if ya want to.” He offers, rubbing my back lightly. I flash him a weak smile, like he gives to me when he’s hurting. “Okay, I’ll go tomorrow. I want to go in alone but could you wait outside?” I squint at him as it’s the only way I can see clearly. He just nods in response. He helps me up and helps me get back home.

I walk through the door and my mum greets me, stressed and frustrated. “Naveed Haider! Where have you been all day?! Why is there blood on your tshirt? Whose jacket is that?” I walk to the couch and sit down, throwing my head back in relief. I wish she would get off my back already, we both know what she REALLY wants to know. She wants to know if I’ve been with Cory, because after seeing my comedy gig she knows I fancy him. She’d be livid if she knew I had kissed him. We both know she doesn’t accept me, she doesn’t understand, and she never will. Dad loves me though, I just can’t wait to get out of here. “Mum, enough with the questions. I had a nose bleed, I’ve been in the woods with Cory. This is his jacket. I’m going to my room.” I say, in an almost harsh tone. She tuts, it’s almost worse than saying what she thinks out loud because I know it’s a tut of disapproval.

I get up the stairs and into my room. Sitting on my bed I take Cory’s jacket from my shoulders and hold it close to me, as if I was holding on for dear life to the memories I’ve made today. Trying to keep them as fresh as possible, I lie down with my hands still clutching at Cory’s jacket as if it was a part of him and the day we spent together at the river. I fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits my pillow. I wake up with my trainers still on my feet, dry mud in clumps at the end of my bed. I ring my doctors and book an appointment for 3:15, just after school.

=============================

I meet Cory at the school gates and we head to see my GP. Cory stays outside, on the old wooden bench embellished with a little gold plaque reading “Derek Ovenden – You saved us all, fly high fella.”, playing some Rugby simulation game. As if he doesn’t play that enough. I walk in, I exhale as I head towards the reception desk. “Hiya lovey, what can I do for ya?” She asks, politely and with a soft smile. “I have an appointment at 3:15.” I say, returning the smile. She nods before asking for my name and telling me to sit myself down. “Naveed Haider – Doctor Crossley Room 3” is on the digital board to instruct me. I knock on the door to Room 3 briefly before entering. “Hi Naveed, take a seat.” He gestures me to a blue chair opposite him. I sit down and make myself as comfortable as I can be in a doctor’s office. “So, what seems to be the problem?” He asks, hands clasped and sitting on the desk. “Well, I have been getting dizzy and lightheaded. Yesterday my vision went blurry and I’ve also been getting headaches and nosebleeds. I have the headaches and nosebleeds fairly regularly but the headaches have been getting progressively worse, I’ve just been ignoring them. Oh it might also be worth mentioning that I found a lump near my armpit which I’m just assuming is nothing but I thought I'd let you know anyway.” I ramble a bit but realise and wrap it up. He writes a few notes and looks back up at me. “Right so you said you’ve been feeling lightheaded and you experienced blurry vision? Sometimes if you’re under a lot of stress, your body can react in strange ways that seem worse than they are to let you know that you’re not doing so well. As for the lump, you’re right it’s probably nothing but it might be worth checking. But I think I’ll just check you over to see how everything is.” He says, pulling out his stethoscope and standing up. He walks around the desk and checks my heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, chest, ears and throat. “Okay, Naveed, everything seems just fine. Your temperature is a little on the high side but nothing alarming. Your symptoms are a bit concerning I know, specifically the headaches getting worse, so I would like to put both our minds at rest and do a blood test.” Great. Needles. I HATE needles. I take a deep breath and nod. I look away and he pushes the needle into my forearm, taking three vials of my blood. I’m so glad that’s over holy shit! “All done. Keep an eye on that lump, and if it doesn’t go down in the next few days make sure you come and see me again okay? Your blood test results will be here in a few days, you’ll get a call or a text to let you know when you need to come in.” He tells me, smiling as he removes his medical gloves and stands up to get the door for me. “Thank you, doctor.” I say before leaving. I flash the receptionist another smile and walk to the automatic doors, I spot Cory in the same position he was 10 minutes ago when I left him. Still playing that stupid game and all. “How’d it go?” He asks, locking his phone and putting it in his pocket. “It went well, he doesn’t have any major worries. He told me to keep an eye on the lump by my armpit and he took some blood. I’ll get my results in a few days.” We walk down the steps and over to the bridge by the bus stop leading back towards school. Cory smiles at me and says “Think you deserve some decent scran after that. Come on, Riz invited us up to his for dinner. We can get changed at mine.” I smile and nod in agreement.


	5. Take A Seat, Naveed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naveed is struggling to keep everything together. Kevin hurts Cory. Naveed pushes his friends away. Cory and Naveed make promises.

I wake up drenched, the night sweats have been getting more frequent and I don’t understand it. I get out of bed and take off my pyjamas while I check my bedhead in the mirror. I try my best to flatten my hair a bit and throw my pjs in the laundry basket on my way out of my room. I lock the bathroom door behind me and turn the shower on, checking my phone as I wait for the water to warm up.

REMINDER: Blood test results at 4:15pm with Doctor Crossley.

Shit. Forgot about that. It’s a teacher training day so I can text Nas or Cory to see if they’re free. Doubt Nas is though, all she ever does these days is fuck around with Sam. Which just leaves Cory. Why do I have to go and fall for my best mate? Come on Naveed! Get your shit together!

I get in the shower, leaving my phone on the bathroom cabinet playing Troye Sivan on Spotify. As I sing along, out of tune, to My My My! I notice another lump. This time on my neck, there’s two lumps. Okay this doesn’t seem right. The lump in my armpit hasn’t gone down, it doesn’t hurt. None of them do. That has to be a good sign right? Yeah, it’s probably nothing. It's nothing. I finish up and turn the shower off. I proceed to grab the nearest clean towel, a dark green and black one, to dry myself with. Looking through my draws to find a decent t-shirt to wear I come across the maroon red coloured t-shirt Cor gave me after I stayed at his. I pick it out and pull it over my head, trying to avoid it touching my still damp hair, before taking my jeans out of the draw underneath and pulling them on. My phone pings from across the room and I immediately go to check it. It’s of course, another text from Cory.

**_C:_ ** _Nav! Meet me outside mine in 20 mins yeah?_ _11:15 AM_

I reply instantly, before I even have chance to think about what I’m saying. My thumbs answer for me.

**_N:_ ** _I’ll be there, bro!_ _11:17 AM_

Looks like I’m going to Cory’s, at least we’ll be out the house. I grab my trainers which are still a bit muddy from going to the woods, we’ve been back once since we found the ledge and I assume we’ll be going there again today. I pull them on and tie the laces in double knotted bows, pick up my backpack and hoodie off of the banister on my way out and leave without so much as a goodbye or see ya later. 

Cory is stood leaning against his house wearing light grey joggers and a blue sweatshirt, his bike propped against the side of the house. He spots me and smiles, taking the bike from its position against the wall and pushing it out of the gate. “You gettin on then, Haider?” He smirks as he sits down on the old seat. I roll my eyes but follow lead and get on behind him, holding his shoulders for support. We ride down by the hill and over towards the woods. Being with Cory is like being on top of the world, nothing matters. Just that moment. As we come towards the ledge, I jump off and Cory leans the bike against a tree. He takes the lead this time and I follow behind him. He climbs onto the ledge and takes my hand to guide me. I don’t think he even realises that he hesitates before letting go. I take crisps and a couple of cans of coke out of my backpack and we just relax around each other. I look over at him, slurping his coke until it’s all gone and leaning his head right back to get the last few drops. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and he notices me looking at him with a wide smile across my face. “What you lookin at?” He asks, I don’t respond. I just let out a small, silent laugh and look away. “Nav! Have I done somethin wrong? Did I drink your coke or somethin?” He continues, I still refuse to make any eye contact. I just admire my surroundings and try to block out his questions. My mind drifts to the lumps and my blood test results. What if something is wrong? What if it’s serious? What if.. What if I’m dying?! My overthinking is interrupted by Cory grabbing my face and turning it to face him, before kissing me suddenly. I push him off “Cory what the fuck?!” I shout, louder than I needed to. “You weren’t listening to me.” He says, as if that was a reasonably normal thing to do if someone isn’t listening to you. He looks down and coughs “I wanted to, I don’t know why I just did okay? I’m sorry.” He admits, like me refusing to make eye contact. “You know how I feel Cory. Don’t mess with my head. If you don’t like me, don’t kiss me.” I tell him off, I can’t have him fucking with me. I have enough on my mind. He says something in return, under his breath so I can barely make it out. “What?” I ask, hoping he’ll speak up. “I think I do. Like you I mean.” He says, I don’t say anything. I don’t even think. I just start to lean in, he notices and does the same, but I pause before anything happens. “Are you sure?” He just nods, and I kiss him. It’s different to how we’ve kissed before. Not like in the locker room when I took things too far and it's different to in the kitchen at his place when it was just an in-the-moment thing that escalated. I'm kissing him, and he's kissing me back. He wanted this, for real. He instigated it. Cory stops for a second to take his shirt off. “Cor, we are not fucking on this ledge.” He just laughs and pulls me in for another kiss, smiling into my lips before pulling back again and saying “I don’t want this to just be about sex. Because you’re not like those girls. With you it’s not like that." He says, opening up to me. “Because with you I feel things I don’t feel when I’m with them. I actually like to spend proper time with you. Not just spending an hour down the rec with cheap cider trying to get into your pants.” He continues and I laugh, then he laughs with me. And he just rests his head in my lap, I mess with his hair and he hates it but he knows he brought it on himself so he doesn’t bother resisting. Not long after, he sits up and puts his shirt back on but puts his hoodie down on the ledge, I do the same. And we lie down, using our hoodies as pillows, wrapped up in each other’s arms. 

We ended up falling asleep, which we realise as we wake up and smile sleepily at each other. Cory fumbles around trying to find his phone to check the time and when he eventually finds it he panics. “Shit! Nav, I’ve got to go. Come on! Dad’s back.” And with that we pick everything up in a hurry, I shove the empty cans and crisp packets in my backpack and we put on each other’s hoodies by mistake. We run across the stepping stones, it’s surprising we don’t slip, and jump back on the bike. When we get to Cory’s street we agree that it’s best we say goodbye here, so that Kevin doesn’t see us. We hug briefly and he rides towards his house as fast as he can, I turn around and walk home.

*CHANGE TO CORY’S POV*

I park the bike down the side of the house and brace myself for me dad kicking off. Jord texted saying he’s in my room and that dad doesn’t know he’s even home. I walk in and shut the door behind me, the TV is blaring the Jeremy Kyle Show. “Cory! Where the fuck is our Jordan? And where have you been? You better have got us some food!” He shouts from the living room. “No idea. I don’t have any, sorry.” I admit, voice shaky. The TV just cuts out, great another thing for Dad to be angry about. “WHAT THE FUCK?! Why haven’t you got us owt you little shit?!” He screams, storming through into the hallway. “I don’t know, Dad, maybe because you spent my money on booze! Or because I ate while I was out maybe.” I reply strongly. I walk past him, into the living room. “Don’t you walk away from me!” He proceeds to throw things at me, his pint glass included which misses me but hits the TV resulting in it cracking the screen. He comes at me and starts to beat me, give me a proper kick in. Like he does with Jord. “Look what you made me do, ungrateful cunt! I’ve done me best by you and your brother. And this is how you fucking repay me!” I give up trying to dodge the punches and kicks after a few minutes. I just lie there and let him do it.

Dad fucks off out and Jord makes sure the coast is clear before running down the stairs and finding me black and blue on the living room floor. “Shit! Cor I’m sorry. I’ll call Nav and Riz for ya.” He can’t do that, they have enough going on, Riz has just lost everything and Nav’s been with me all day. “No don’t! Ring Chloe, get her around here. She might know what to do.” He quickly calls her and she answers almost instantly. “Chloe, it’s Dad. He’s given Cory a right batterin. Can you come over? Cheers, sinna bit.” I try to get up, and Jord rushes over and helps me. He helps me get to the couch and sits me down before he goes to grab frozen peas to see if that will help at all. 5 minutes pass and Chloe knocks on the door. She comes in with her bag and sits beside me on the couch. “Oh god, Cory! Right well from what I can see your chest, back and stomach have taken most of it so it won’t be visible at school or anythin but it will in the showers after rugby so I can tell my mum and she’ll tell Mr Simpson. He won’t make you do it and he won’t tell anyone you don’t want to know about it. As for your face, I’ve got some makeup. You won’t be able to tell, don’t worry.” I smile at her in response. Jord’s got a good one there. “Cheers Chlo, I appreciate it.” She smiles back. Jord brings through 3 cuppas for us and Chloe asks if we want her to stay over, make sure we’re okay if Dad comes back. She rings her mum and just as we thought, her mum wasn’t keen on the idea. “Mum! Nothing’s gonna happen! I just want to make sure they’re okay! Cory’s in a bad way and I’m not leaving them.” They spoke for a few more minutes and Chloe hung up the phone. “Mum will be here in 10. You’re staying at ours. She’ll drop you off a street away from school tomorrow, so nobody asks questions.”

*NAVEED’S POV*

After leaving Cory, going home and getting a lecture off my mum about how I need to eat more because I’m too skinny, I’m finally in the waiting room at the doctors. I’m early because I couldn’t sit around waiting much longer. After around 10 minutes of sitting there in silence, I see my name flash up on the board. I stand up and walk in the direction of Room 3. I come to the door and take a deep breath before lightly knocking and turning the handle to the door. I take a seat opposite Dr. Crossley and prepare myself for whatever is coming. “Afternoon, Naveed. I have your blood test results here for you and from what I can see there is nothing to cause any concerns so you’re okay there. How have you been feeling? Has that lump gone down yet?” He asks, with his pen and notebook ready to assess and analyse my answers. “No, the lump hasn’t gone down. Infact, I have found two more, here on my neck.” I inform him, removing my jacket and pointing to the lumps. His face turns to a more concerned look and he makes some notes before standing up and walking towards me. “Okay, Naveed, I’m just going to ask you some questions as I examine them.” I nod to let him know that’s fine and I take off my t-shirt so he can feel the lump at my armpit properly. “Do these lumps hurt at all?” He asks grabbing his notebook so he can write down more notes. “No, they aren’t painful at all, I just think it’s strange that they’re there.” I explain, he nods and continues to make notes. He keeps checking each lump several times. “Naveed, I can see why this may be concerning to you and I also have some concerns. So, I think that you should have a biopsy. I’ll transfer you to Calderdale Royal Hospital and they will give you an appointment within the next two weeks. Once you’ve had your biopsy, it won’t be a long wait for your results but I don’t know the exact amount of time as it can vary. They will tell you more about that at your appointment. You will receive a text from the hospital, I’ll give them your details, confirming your appointment and if for whatever reason you can’t make the appointment you just need to give them a call and they can rearrange it. Okay?” I nod. “It’s a lot of information to take in and I know it’s scary but it will just help to put your mind at rest and you’ll hopefully know what the lumps are.” He says smiling kindly at me. He hands me a card with the details of Calderdale Royal for if I need to contact them and I smile in return. “Thank you, Doctor.” I say as I stand up and push my chair in. I walk towards the door to turn the handle again, but this time without hesitation, and I leave. 

As I’m on my way home, I think about Cory and how great he’s been with me recently. How supportive he’s been. He came with me to my first appointment and he looked out for me. I want to go and see him, I could cook dinner for us again.

**_N:_ ** _Cor, you busy? Was thinking I could come over? I could even make you that curry you like? Up to you anyway, bro x_ _5:11 PM_

After an hour with no reply I decide to try and call him, but I get no answer. I will just leave it for now, I can’t push him. I sit on my bed, cross-legged, holding my phone loosely between my hands. I tap the Contacts button and my thumb hovers over Cory’s contact, but I move down the list and tap Nas’ contact. I press the call button and after a few rings I get an answer.

“Naveed!” She shouts with excitement evident in her tone. I smile and let out a small laugh. “Hiya, Nas.” My greeting calm and much less shouty. She bombards me with questions like “How are you?” and “What are you up to?”, even going as far as to ask me “Any lads on the go?”. I just laugh in response before saying “Woah, Nas! Calm down, okay? I’m fine. I’m sat on my bed talking to you. And no, no lads on the go.” She hangs up the phone abruptly and before I have the chance to call her back or text her to see what happened, I receive a text from her.

**_Disaster Lesbian:_ ** _Right, before you say_ _anythin_ _, I’m fine. I’m coming over, we have a LOT to talk about. Like how you’ve been so distant lately!_ _6:15 PM_

**_Nav:_ ** _I’ll see you in 10 then I guess_

**_Disaster Lesbian:_ ** _That you will, Haider, that you will_ _6:16 PM_

And as I expected, 10 minutes later I heard a knock on the door. My mum opened it and I could hear her talking to Nas from upstairs. “Oh hello, Nasreen! It’s nice to see you, Naveed’s just upstairs.” She loves Nasreen and if it was up to her, we’d be getting married at the weekend. “Thanks, Mrs Haider. He’s expecting me.” She says in return. I walk down the landing and stand at the top of the stairs with my backpack thrown over my shoulder. I run downstairs, skipping a few steps on the way down, and bring Nas in for a massive hug. “Mum, I’m going out with Nasreen!” I call to her in the kitchen. She walks through to us. “No, you’re not. You’ve been out all day, Naveed. Your dinner will be ready soon, you and Nasreen can go and sit in the living room.” I look at Nasreen, not sure what to say next. “Mrs. Haider, could we sit outside on the front drive? I need some air.” She asks, smiling sweetly at my mother. “Okay, are you staying for dinner Nasreen?” Nasreen just shakes her head in response before thanking my mum for the generosity and explaining that Mrs. Paracha is expecting her home soon. She opens the door and we head outside. 

“So, where have you been Nav?” She asks, she doesn’t waste any time does she. I just look at the floor and play with bits of grass. “I don’t know, I’ve just been busy. Like you have with Sam.” I say, with some instant regret following. “What? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because I’m with Sam?” Well, what am I supposed to tell her? ‘No, Nasreen, I haven’t been avoiding you because you’re in a relationship with Sam but because I’m scared I might be seriously ill and my feelings for Cory are growing stronger every day and I’m losing control of everything in my life.’ I can’t tell her. I haven’t even told Cory. So, I just lie. “Yeah, what do you expect? You’re fucking a racist.” I say, bluntly. She looks hurt and I hate that, because I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t tell her. Not now. “I can’t help who I like Naveed! Just like you can’t help liking Cory, at least Sam isn’t the biggest fuckboy in Ackley Bridge. I know you’re trying to look out for me, but you’re just making this even more difficult than it needs to be. Sam knows she was wrong. I really like her. And she likes me. Cory doesn’t like you. He’s straight, Nav.” She puts her hand on my shoulder, looking at me as if I’m pathetic. “You don’t know Cory like I do. And you wonder why I’ve been avoiding you when all you do is defend a known racist and shit all over the only good thing I’ve got right now.” I stand up and turn away from her. “Naveed! I’m sorry! I’m just trying to look out for ya,” I go to my front door and before I open it I say “Well, I don’t need you to. Just like you don’t need me to.” And I leave her on my front drive.

*NAS’ POV*

Naveed leaves me stood on his front drive, shutting the door behind him. This is because of Cory. Cory’s hurting Naveed and now Naveed doesn’t want to see me. This has nothing to do with Sam. I call Missy as I walk home. “So, Nav was saying shit about Sam and then just left you on his drive? What the fuck?!” Missy shouted, I could hear her front door slam behind her. “I’m coming to meet ya and you’re tellin’ me everything” She says, I don’t bother trying to argue because Missy won’t take no for an answer and I need her right now to be honest. I hang up the phone and soon enough I see Missy storming towards me, looking furious. “What the hell is ‘e playin’ at?” She pulls me in for a hug and we go to sit on the sofa in the skip. That’s our place. “I just asked him where he’d been, and he just said he’d been busy, but I didn’t believe him. And then he started saying it was because I’m with a racist, then I started saying shit about him liking Cory,” I explain. “Did he say anythin’ after that?” Missy asks, pulling a bottle of cider out of her bag and taking a swig. “He just said “You wonder why I’ve been avoiding you when all you do is defend a racist and shit all over the only good thing in my life”, meaning Cory. So, clearly Cory’s hurt him and he’s just taking it out on me.” I tell her. Missy grabs my phone off me and puts a number into it. “Here, Cory’s number. You can text him and find out what’s happened wi’ Nav.” She says, passing my phone back to me. “Cheers, Missy, I will.” I tap his contact and start to type out a message.

**_Unknown number:_ ** _What’s happened with you and Naveed? Why’s he acting like that?_ _8:02 PM_

**_Cory Wilson:_ ** _Who is this? What are you on about?_ _8:03 PM_

**_Unknown number:_ ** _It’s Nas. Naveed is pushing me away, saying that it’s because I’m with Sam. Has this got_ _anythin_ _to do with you? Has he said anything about me and Sam?_ _8:03 PM_

**_Cory Wilson:_ ** _No, Nav has more important things to worry about than you and Sam. Thought you might_ _realise_ _that by now._ _8:05 PM_

**_Nasreen:_ ** _What are you on about, Cory? Is something wrong? Have you hurt him?_ _8:05 PM_

**_Cory Wilson:_ ** _No, course I haven’t hurt him. Hasn’t he told you?_ _8:06 PM_

**_Nasreen:_ ** _TOLD ME WHAT CORY?! HE HASN’T TOLD ME ANYTHING SINCE HE STARTED HANGING AROUND WITH YOU MORE_ _8:08 PM_

**_Cory Wilson:_ ** _Right, okay. I don’t think it’s my place to tell you, but if you care about Nav then you need to know. He’s not been very well recently. Like at all._ _8:09 PM_

**_Nasreen:_ ** _Don’t even lie to me, Cory. Nav would’ve told me if he was ill. What’s really going on?_ _8:11 PM_

**_Cory Wilson:_ ** _Well, you can believe what you want. But I went with him to the doctors. He was tired all the time, out of breath a lot,_ _really weak_ _like nearly fainting n shit. He got a blood test last week. He told me it went fine and he’s due to get his results this week. So, no_ _Nas_ _. I haven’t hurt him, maybe you’ve done that by being selfish._ _8:12 PM_

**_Nasreen:_ ** _Shit, he didn’t tell me anything. I blame you for this Cory. He used to tell me everything until you came into his life. You’re no good for him._ _8:13 PM_

**_Cory Wilson:_ ** _I care about him. That isn’t_ _gonna_ _change. He’s my best friend._ _8:13 PM_

=============================

*NAV’S POV*

I wake up with my head pounding and my clothes drenched in sweat. WILL THIS EVER FUCKING END? I get up and start to get dressed but I stumble and fall, hitting my face on the edge of my desk. My mum rushes upstairs shouting for my dad to follow. “Mum honestly I’m fi-” I can’t even finish my sentence before she’s sitting my on my bed and touching my face to see if I need an ice pack or anything. “Oh my, Naveed your eye is black and blue! You can’t go in to school today like that!” I push her arms away lightly. “Mum, seriously. I’m okay. I just tripped, it doesn’t hurt that bad.” I assure her, and I’m not lying. It doesn’t hurt THAT bad. But it wasn’t how I had imagined starting the day.

Once I finally get her out of my room, I finish getting dressed and brush my teeth. I take a Danish pastry from the kitchen and head to school. I just hope I see Cory before I see Nas. I don’t need her saying anything else about me liking Cory. He’s been there for me when she hasn’t. I walk past the café where I used to go with Nas and a small frown appears on my face when I see her in there with Missy, who glares at me as I walk away. 

I come up to the school gates and I spot Riz, I plaster a smile on my face as I walk towards him. “Ey, Nav!” He greets me with a wide smile and a “bro hug”. I look around for Cory and he’s nowhere to be seen. “I’m good yeah, what about you man? Not seen you since Friday.” I ask, as we head towards the doors. “Yeah, not bad. Cor isn’t here yet, he’s on his way he said” I nod, looking behind me before I walk in. Lessons drag on and my head continues to pound. I start to feel really drained of all energy and will to continue the day by the time lunch comes around. I just buy a bag of crisps from Mrs. Paracha and head out to the bench at the side of the school where I usually sit with Cory and Riz. Riz is sat there shaking his head and letting out a small laugh as I approach him. He’s looking in the direction of the steps on the other side of the yard at Cory kissing Shannon. I offer my crisps to Riz, knowing full well I won’t be eating them after seeing that. I zone out of the situation and start to think about my biopsy. “Mate, you have to eat something.” Riz says, as I come back to reality. I look over at him, he has a “concerned friend” kind of look on his face. I hate that. “Honestly, it’s fine. I’m not hungry.” I say, giving him a weak smile and hoping it’s convincing enough for him to let it go. Luckily it is. My phone buzzes in my blazer pocket and I lift it out.

**_Calderdale_ ** **_Royal Hospital:_ ** _Biopsy Appointment. February 27_ _ th _ _at 3:45pm. If you cannot attend your appointment, please call 01422 357171 to reschedule._ _12:32 PM_

That’s only next Tuesday. I’m not ready, not ready at all. I can’t sit here and watch Shannon all over Cory, so I stand up and tell Riz I'm going to get some water. I walk across the yard, past Cory. He looks at me, but I don’t make eye contact. I walk to the toilets and walk into one of the cubicles. I lock the door behind me and smash my head on the door before sinking to the floor. I’m just so done. I don’t feel like being funny, I don’t feel like laughing and smiling, because the reality is that I might be ill. And the guy that I like is out the kissing some girl the day after saying he thinks he likes me. My head is a mess and I feel so lost and out of control.

I eventually compose myself and walk out of the cubicle to see Cory stood there in front of me. I divert my eyes away from him and try to walk around him, but he pulls me back. “Nav, I’m sorry.” He says, sounding sincere and genuine. Like he’s my Cory again, the Cory who is a massive softie and smiles like a dumbass and doesn’t know how to ask for a cuddle. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.” I lie, I don’t get at all how someone can say they like you one minute and then have their tongue down someone else’s throat the next. “Nav, man! Let me fucking talk to you!” He says, raising his voice. I look at him coldly, waiting for his next attempt to worm his way out of it. “I didn’t want to kiss her, not like I wanted to kiss you yesterday. But I don’t know how I feel about anything or what I am. Because I’m not gay!” I wish he understood what I’m trying to say, I don’t want to hear about the reasoning. “You don’t have to be gay or straight. And you don’t have to prove your fucking masculinity by kissing the first girl that throws herself at you. I don’t want to hear about it.” I tell him, looking him in the eyes. “I can’t do this right now.” I say as I head for the door. “What do you mean?! Don’t be a pussy! Oi!” He shouts after me and I turn back around and push him. “Get the fuck away from me, I mean it.” His back hits the wall of the toilets and his face drops. “YOU’RE NOTHING TO ME. NOTHING.” He shouts right in my face before running out of the toilets. What have I done?

I quickly run out after him and find him sat on the steps outside with his earphones in. I tap his shoulder, he looks around and sees me and immediately he goes to leave. I pull out one of his earphones. “I’m sorry,” I say with a soft tone of voice. “I didn’t mean to. Can we talk?” He looks at me and smiles that painfully familiar weak smile. We stand up and head over to the now empty bench. We sit up on the table and watch everyone go inside. “Did something happen last night, Cor?” I ask, hoping I’m not overstepping. He looks across the yard, avoiding my eyes. “It were me Dad, he gave me a kick in. It were scary, Nav. I froze.” My face drops and I don’t know what to say so I just gently wrap my arms around him and pull him into a hug. “I- I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” I apologise, my chin resting on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to worry you with it. How did the blood test go?” He explains, changing the subject. “My blood is normal so it’s fine. I told you it was nothing.” His face, still concerned, was now painted with a soft smile. “I’m glad. I don’t know what I’d do if you were sick.” He admits, his hands resting on my shoulders. “I didn’t mean it yaknow, what I said about you being nothing to me.” I look at him and smile to assure him I know. I know because he’s Cory. He’s a big dumbass, but he’s mine.

We head to class, a few minutes late but who cares? We walk through the door in fits of laughter at some dumb jokes we made at each other on the way there, attempting to apologise to Mr. Hyatt in between laughs. The lesson is nice today, just us messing with some Bunsen burners making the flames pink and stuff. I’ve almost completely forgotten about the Shannon thing earlier. For once, the lesson ends really quickly and we all hurry out so we can go to our last lesson of the day which is unfortunately Drama, meaning I’m not with Cory as he’s in PE. But soon the day will be over and I can leave, maybe to our place. To the ledge. To blissfully ignore my mind.

I walk into drama class and place my bag in the corner of the room, where Nas approaches me. “Why didn’t you tell me about you being ill? And the blood test?” She asks, abruptly. “What? How do you know about that? It’s nothing to do with you.” I didn’t want her to know for a reason. She didn’t need to know. “That doesn’t matter, and it has everything to do with me Naveed! You’re my friend!” I just turn and start to walk away from her. “I didn’t tell you because you didn’t need to know. Just leave it, Nas. I mean it.” I go over to Tahira and start talking to her about our mock exam piece. “So, I was thinking we could incorporate a chair duet into it somewhere?” She suggests, knowing that I love chair duets. “Yes! That would be amazing!” I exclaim. We continue to talk about it and practice our duet. I give her my number, so we can talk about it outside of school and as soon as I walk out of the classroom I receive a text from her.

**_Tahira:_ ** _hey_ _m’lovely_ _, we should use some soft instrumental music for some of it because if it’s about friendship. I have a playlist I'll send it to you later. T x_ _3:01 PM_

She’s such a lovely person, she’s the only person other than Riz and Cory that I feel relaxed around right now.

**_Navvy_ ** **_:_ ** _okay t, I'll check it out in a bit. love u x_ _3:01 PM_

I stroll out of the doors to see Nas and Cory talking. I knew it. I walk over to them. “What’s going on?” I ask, looking at Cor and then over to Nas. Cory mouths “Sorry” and Nas goes quiet for a second. “I was just asking Cory if you’d received the results yet because I-” I interrupt her because I am already so done with this. “No. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want anyone to know right now. So back off, Nas.” She looks at me with tears welling up in her eyes. “She only wants to look out for you, Nav.” Cory says, trying to calm the situation. “And you,” I turn and talk to Cory. “I trusted you and you told her without even asking me first. I don’t tell people your business, so don’t tell people mine.” I look at him, feeling betrayed by the one person I trust more than anyone else. “She was trying to say I was hurting you, she was saying you don’t tell her owt now that you’re around me. What was I supposed to say?” He asks, looking confused and almost apologetic. I just turn and walk away from them. As I walk away, I text Cor.

**_N:_ ** _That wasn’t okay. I need some time alone because I don’t know how to talk to you right now. But I want to see you tomorrow._ _3:14 PM_

He replies almost instantly.

**_C:_ ** _I’m sorry. I’ll meet you on the hill tomorrow. X_ _3:15 PM_

I smile at that and put my earphones in. I put on the playlist I made the first night we went to the ledge and the first song that comes on is Like To Be You by Shawn Mendes ft. Julia Michaels. Their soft voices dance around my ears in perfect harmony, as if they fit in my ear like they were meant just for me to hear. It reminds me of my friendship with Cory and how we are both struggling in different ways, but we try our hardest to understand and support each other through our hardships. How we worry about each other and how, even though we don’t know what it’s like to live each other’s lives, we are always there to lean on each other. To care for each other. To take the piss out of each other. It’s important to have someone like that.

=============================

I open my eyes but close them again almost instantly as the beaming light from my window blinds me. I fumble around trying to find my phone to check the time. I block the light from my eyes with my hand as I open them again to see that it’s 11:08 AM and I have a text from Cory.

**_C:_ ** _Meet on the hill in an hour? 11:01 AM_

**_N:_ ** _Yeah, man. 11:09 AM_

All that I can think about is this biopsy, which isn’t helped by the fact that my appointment is getting closer and closer. And I keep getting texts to remind me, as if I'd forget something this big. To try and take my mind to a more positive place, I turn on my ledge playlist and dance around my room a little. It’s not long before I start to feel faint and tired, but it was nice while it lasted.

As I approach Cory, I don’t know whether I should tell him about the biopsy or not. It might just be a cyst or something. I shouldn’t worry him. “Hey, listen man I’m sorry about tellin Nas and that.” He sits playing with his hands avoiding eye contact. I rest my head on his shoulder. “It’s okay. I understand.” I assure him with a soft, calm tone. “Can you promise me something?” I ask, almost hesitantly. He looks at me with his eyes focusing on mine. “Yeah, what is it?” I shuffle to get more comfortable and take a deep breath. “That we will always be here. That we won’t fuck off and leave each other like everyone else does.” He looks around, to make sure nobody is watching, and takes my hand. “Yeah man, you’re not getting rid o’ me. You’re stuck with me, Haider.” I just smile at the way he says my surname, soft and smooth. Like it rolls off his tongue. Like it’s natural and real. He said those words like they were the only ones he knew, like that was all he was sure of in that moment. I trust his words. More than I trust my own.

We just sit there on the hill in silence after that. I leave to go home and I repeat his words in my head, holding onto them as if they were the last words he ever said to me. “You’re stuck with me, Haider.” those words circle around my mind for the rest of the day, at least it takes my mind away from the dark pit it’s been in since I got told I need a biopsy. Even if I am sick, I know I have him and he has me. I don’t need to know much more than that. 

=============================

The last few days went by slowly and now, on this rainy Tuesday morning, I can’t even remember what I did in that time. It’s all such a blur. All I know is that today is the day that I have my biopsy. This time next week I’ll either be Naveed with cancer or Naveed that has multiple cysts. Even in its grossness, I hope it’s the latter.

The day goes faster than I thought it would, I can’t even focus in drama class. Tahira can tell that something is wrong. She’s not saying anything, but I can tell. Her eyes tell me everything I need to know. She’s nice enough not to ask, but I feel like I’m letting her down. Our mock exam is in 4 weeks and I’m not nearly focused enough. I need to get my shit together before I fuck it all up for her. Tahira told me that she wants to go to drama school and become an actress, so this mock exam is more than important to her. It determines her future. Drama schools don’t take people who fail their exams, even if it’s just the mocks. I won’t let her down. I spend the next 30 minutes trying my best to focus, looking through music with T and practicing our mime sequence. I wish I felt motivated. But I don’t. I’m trying. I really am.

The bell rings and I rush out of the classroom before anyone else. I run as fast as my legs can carry me until I get to my street. I look at my phone, out of breath and lightheaded, to see a text from Tahira.

**_Tahira:_ ** _I love you,_ _Navvy_ _. I hope you feel better soon_ _m’lovely_ _. Don’t overwork yourself and stay hydrated kiddo x 3:12 PM_

I smile and slowly tap out a reply.

**_Navvy_ ** **_:_ ** _I adore you, T. I’m sorry for today, I’ll be better on Friday I promise you. I won’t let you down x 3:16 PM_

**_Tahira:_ ** _It’s okay, don’t stress. I’ll see you tomorrow x 3:17 PM_

I get changed into something more comfortable and prepare myself for my appointment. I quickly dump my bag and make some bullshit excuse to my parents that I have to go to study with Riz for our chemistry mock exam. The 503 is due at 3:25 and, it’s 3:22 now. I manage to make it to the bus stop just as the bus is coming down the road and the ten-minute journey to the hospital is excruciating. When I get off by the side of Calderdale Royal, I debate running and not facing this. But it’s important. I have to know. I walk in and I’m directed to where my appointment will take place. I get a bit lost but I eventually find the room and knock lightly on the door. “Come in!” A woman’s voice calls out. “Hello, you must be Naveed. You’re here for your biopsy, correct?” She asks, smiling softly at me. “Yeah, I am.” I confirm, nervously. I try my hardest to focus on what she says after that, but it doesn’t feel real. She takes me to the room where the biopsy will take place and it’s over sooner than I expected. I feel numb, physically and emotionally. I’m just so drained. I’ve been so worked up over this and now that it’s done I just feel out of my own head for the first time in days. “You will receive your results in the next three days. You’ll get a text confirming your appointment to get your results.” She says smiling at me as she stands up to see me out. “Thank you.” is all I can get out.

=============================

All that has been on my mind since the appointment is getting my results and it’s finally here. I’m sat here in the hospital waiting room feeling incredibly anxious. I’m shaking as I try to compose myself and my name is called. I go to the same room where I first met Dr. Lee and knock gently before walking in. “Take a seat, Naveed.” She says, gesturing me to the green chair opposite her black one. “I have your results here and I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it is cancerous. Now, the best thing for us to do is to do further tests and scans to see if the cancer has spread and how much to determine which stage you’re at and how we can best treat you. It is likely you will have to have chemotherapy. Your tests will be in the next week or two and you will likely start treatment soon after that. You may want to talk to your parents and close friends for support and we also have a hospital counsellor if you need to talk about anything.” I try my best to take this all in, I knew to expect the worst but now that I know I have cancer I know that I need to tell Cory. I don’t want to hurt him, but I need him to know.


End file.
